I first started dating my douche bag ex-boyfriend in October. We met at a bar on the lower east side and at first he seemed really into me and normal. He asked for my phone number immediately and called me within two days to ask me out. He seemed to want to move very quickly and because I hadn’t had a boyfriend in about a year, I was eager to explore a new relationship and was so excited that he was so into me. Little did I know the reason he wanted to move so fast was literally because of the weather.

By mid-November that’s when I started to notice we were going out A LOT less. He was from Florida and would complain that it was too cold and he was tired. Chinese and Italian were what we would order for take-out, followed by mediocre sex, and the latest Netflix delivery. For Christmas, I shit you not, he gave me a collection of the Barefoot Contessa’s cookbooks…with a note that said “Maybe now we can cook instead of ordering so much take out.” If there is any man reading this take note: Do not buy a woman a freaking cookbook for Christmas unless she asks for it. My New York kitchen is about the size of a closet and I don’t enjoy cooking! Although since he was into giving instruction manuals, I should have given him a manual because he didn’t seem to know exactly what to do with all of my utensils.

He ended things last week because he wasn’t “Ready for something serious.” A friend of a friend told me that he is a player but usually will settle down for the winter so he doesn’t have to go out and make an effort in the cold weather. I wish she would have told me this BEFORE I wasted several months and a couple of tears.

Everything about this guy is boring. I feel sorry for the next woman that falls into his bed, but hopefully someone can make good use of these cookbooks.

UPDATE: This guy sent me a Valentine’s Day gift!! LOL... I can’t believe it. I got home and there was a box with this cute dog inside and a note that said “I had already picked this up for you. Hope you can snuggle with him.” WTF?! It didn’t even say Happy Valentine’s, but it arrived on the day, so I’m assuming that’s what it was for. I really don’t understand this guy. I didn’t call to thank him, he hasn’t called to see if I received it. I’m letting it all go.