When you know you are still in a relationship that you no longer want to be a part of, every little thing about your partner becomes the biggest pet peeve in the world. And so, my title, “It wasn’t him, it was me,” is very telling. After dating throughout college and graduating together, I realized my very loving and seemingly perfect partner just wasn’t floating my boat. I realized that nobody was perfect so I tried to work through what now are obviously glaring issues, of which I wouldn’t have been able to “look past” had we stayed together much longer, (i.e. parenting techniques, financial outlooks, religious background).

But, I’m not the hero here & I did not go about ending this relationship the right way. (I was so young… so stupid!) I had a distinct inability to say no, to move on alone, to let him go to find the person who would love him the way he needed. Even after he broke up with me, I couldn’t end the pseudo-friendship he insisted we keep going. Instead, that dragged on for a few months until I finally admitted there was a new man in my life, which the ex could not bear (understandably). I hear he’s happy with a new girlfriend, which is great. But I no longer want any reminders of my failure hanging around the house… HELP!