In order to keep my Indo parents silent I agreed to go on “Modern day” arranged marriage dates. I call them “Modern day” because I have the option of rejecting the dude if I want to.

I have been on about a dozen dates thus far, and have begun to lose faith in Indo men across the globe. The last straw for me was my last date. I WILL NEVER EVER EVER SUBJECT MYSELF TO THIS OUTDATED PAST TIME AS LONG AS I LIVE.

I think to laundry list the shit this monster said would be the easiest way to “LET GO!”

1) On our first date he showed up twenty minutes late and told me he was late because he was scoping out another bar. He then said, “GOSH, YOU ARE LESS ICKY IN PERSON THAN I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE.” What fucking grown man uses the word ICKY!!!???? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!! What I should have said in response was, “GOSH, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE SUCH A SHORT FUCK WITH HIPPO NOSTRILS!”

2) He then proceeded to show me a picture of an ex girl friend who he said looks like me. Of course he prefaced this by stating, “DID YOU THINK YOUR FACE WAS SPECIAL? BECAUSE IT ISN’T. SEE MY EX, SHE LOOKS LIKE YOU.” I wanted to say back, “YOU THINK YOUR FACE IS FUCKING SPECIAL? YOU LOOK LIKE DALHER MENDHI, EXCEPT YOU’RE NOT ENTERTAINING!”

3) He told me he didn’t want to travel to non-English speaking countries b/c he “CAN’T CONNECT WITH PEOPLE IN BARS,” but who the fuck would want to connect with him anyways!!! He is disgusting, rude, cheap, crass, nasty, condescending, patronizing, and fucking 400% out of line every time he opens his big mouth.

4) He went to the bathroom just before the check came and while walking out of the bathroom walked straight to the exit instead of returning to the table. Even worse he snapped his fingers at me and motioned for me to join him at the exit even though he had to know that WE DIDN’T PAY FOR THE CHECK. Did you want me to pay for the $10 tab!!?? WHO DOES THAT!! WHAT MAN EVEN FUCKING SNAPS HIS FINGERS AT A GIRL? DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR FUCKING MAID, SERVER OR MOTHER!!!???

5) When we went to the second bar, he continued to speak to me without making eye contact. I literally sat there and stared at him as his twitching ass looked at the sky, at the wall behind me or at the floor. The ONE time he looked at me was when he said, “YOU MUST BE ANGRY ALL THE TIME. YOU MUST BE ANGRY RIGHT NOW??” I said, “MAYBE ONCE A MONTH,” and then he said, “WELL, WITH PMS, MS, AND MSS THERE MUST BE ONE DAY OUT OF THE WEEK WHERE YOU ARE NOT ANGRY.” I wanted to throw my drink in his face, but doing so would have accomplished nothing because the loser and piece of shit would have probably said something ten times more awful!

6) The icing on the cake was when he agreed to drive me home and asked for directions. When I started to give him directions, he stopped me and said, “Actually, I WOULDN’T TRUST YOU TO GIVE ME DIRECTIONS FARTHER THAN I COULD THROW YOU, AND I COULDN’T THROW YOU VERY FAR.” He said this all to me while looking me up and down like I was a fucking walrus, but let me tell you readers, I am no fucking walrus, I AM A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD STAR!!! When I told him he was being really mean, he said, “WELL, IT’S TRUE.” What’s fucking true!!?? That I am fucking cow??

I am not sure what the fuck was wrong with this mentally challenged maggot, but meeting him was the last time that I will ever subject myself to arranged marriage bullshit. I will not be a lowlife’s punching bag, and will not be called fat or icky or fucking plain Jane. To men like this man, GO F YOURSELVES. MOVE TO A FUCKING TINY ASS JUNK YARD AND FUCKING DIE THERE. People shouldn’t even be able to live with the slime on the bottom of our deepest oceans b/c even that slime is living, and this dude my friends, is a soulless, lifeless, inhuman, particle of waste.

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I was a silly 16 year old girl who thought she fell in love with her high school boyfriend in a small rural town in Kentucky. In retrospect (it’s 14 years later now) he reminds me more of a Kevin Federline type. A complete loser who has accomplished nothing in life! My friends hated him, my family hated him, and because I’m “a little” hard-headed I decided to make my relationship work…..dating him for almost 5 years and halfway through college. What a waste! Luckily, I finally listened at some point and we broke up over one of his last cheating escapades. At the time, I was crushed and thought I would never get over it…...now I think the whole situation is really funny!

He gave me this ring- which my mom forbid me to put on because it looked like an engagement ring. It’s the smallest diamond I have ever seen in a 14 K gold band. I will be happy to give it a new home!

Moving on was wonderful. I am happily married now for almost 7 years now. My husband and I have traveled the world, have made many friends, and are expecting our first baby in 13 days! Life could not be better. The moral of the story is: think really long and hard if your family and friends are telling you that you could do better in the dating arena. This “rings” true especially for those of you below the age of 21 (Your frontal lobe is still maturing at that point).For physical proof see the picture. The bottom ring represents the looser highschool boyfriend who no one likes except for you. The top: is not for sale…..it represents the one you hopefully will find happiness forever with (it’s my engagement ring). Good luck out there!

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