The Ex Outlet

Engagements were made to be broken. Never, if you have just been engaged, assume that the engagement will terminate in marriage. – Amy Vanderbilt

We have scoured over etiquette books (old, new, borrowed, and blue) to try and help you figure out what to really do with gifts given to you and your no-longer if a difficult circumstance arises. Read below to find out how to handle these situations gracefully. And yes, we will let you know when you can tactfully post your gifts for sale on the site! Please keep in mind legal and social laws can be very different!

1. Broken engagements:
• It is considered proper etiquette to return the engagement ring to the giver in ALL circumstances. If the giver refuses the return, then the receiver may keep the ring and do whatever she likes with it. (Don’t hate the messenger…)
• All gifts should be returned to the sender unless they have been used or monogrammed. A tactful and brief note should accompany the return with an explanation. (And not the type of explanation found on this site!)
• If the prospective groom dies, then the bride may keep gifts that have sentimental value. However if the bride was given an heirloom engagement ring, she should return it to the family.

2. Postponed Marriages:
• It is OK to keep gifts if an engagement is postponed. However, if the length of the postponement passes “Just a little while” and it seems that the marriage will most likely not occur, than you should follow the guidelines for broken engagements.

3. Divorce:
• Sorry grooms. Brides are supposed to keep all marital gifts unless a gift was specifically intended for the groom. (And yes, these are the gifts that you may sell on this site after the divorce is final… anonymously of course!)
• If the divorce occurs within a short period after the marriage, the bride and groom may (but are not required to) return unused gifts to the sender. (Not to the store!)

4. Annulment:
• If the annulment occurs shortly after the marriage, all unused gifts should be returned to the giver with a very brief note of explanation. (Dear John and Jane, Thank you for the thoughtful gift. It is with sadness and regret that I am returning it…” Keep it brief and undetailed.)

5. Second Marriage Divorces:
• This is kind of a trick one because according to etiquette experts, there should be no gifts for a second, third, or fourth marriage…no way, no how. If you were lucky enough to receive any, please follow the guidelines for a first divorce.